Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
