i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
