just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize