i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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