i just had sex bonerless
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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