if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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