He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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