Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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