I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
