sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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