i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We left the knife in your bed.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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