Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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