WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just want to make out with him forever
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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