I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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