I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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