I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
