just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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