How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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