i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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