the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
