your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
