Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
