you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
