i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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