I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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