What a fucking waste of an outfit
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
