turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
