no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize