I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
