i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
