We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
