i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So much rum. So many feels.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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