i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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