; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So vagazzling was a success
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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