Having a random hookup so left but love u
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
