Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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