I accidentally burped into my bong.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
