have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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