I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
