He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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