I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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