Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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