Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
