I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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