ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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