Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize