After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I could fuck to npr.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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