tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
