when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
