I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
