I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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