quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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