just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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