I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
