Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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