That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He passed out mid-signature
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
