She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize