you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
