So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize