Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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