Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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