My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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