He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
