You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
