it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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