I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
