I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
