i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
