Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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